Praying for Our Enemies - a Good Friday reflection

The following is a devotion and prayer I wrote for our church's 40 Days of Prayer during Lent.

This past year has been perhaps the most difficult year in my life. Emotionally speaking, it feels like I’ve gone through major surgery. The process has been painful, but I know it’s corrective and healing will come despite the scars. Among other things, it has been a year to heal and forgive – to extend forgiveness to those who have deeply hurt or disappointed me – to seek forgiveness as God reveals some difficult truths about myself and how it affects those around me – and by His grace to learn to receive forgiveness freely from the God who loves me despite myself.

I’ve always believed in the redemptive power of forgiveness through Jesus. Over the years, I have forgiven others and have sought the forgiveness of others. But there’s nothing on my forgiveness résumé that prepared me for my recent experiences.

During Passion Week, we are reminded of Jesus’ final prayer on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)

What I know about forgiveness is completely trivial when compared to the full measure of forgiveness reflected in Jesus’ prayer on the cross. Imagine the shame and humiliation of being hung between two criminals, slowly drained of life by the torturous pain of murder by crucifixion. A bloody, dying and naked Jesus, the very Son of God and Savior of the world, praying to the Father on behalf of those who betrayed him, mocked him, beat him, and took amusement from his suffering.

We wonder how any innocent human being, even divine, can utter such a compassionate prayer with his final breaths? I suspect the imagery and words of this prayer haunts many of us. As we read it, perhaps it conjures up the faces and images of people in our lives that we can’t forgive. When we are wronged, we want to strike back and avenge people. At the very least we want to avoid any further interactions with those who offend or hurt us. Sometimes avoidance is healthy, if only temporarily, but it’s not a long term solution. (Granted, sometimes a situation is toxic or abusive and new boundaries are required, but that is another topic altogether.)

If you’re like me, it isn’t easy to move beyond the desire for vengeance or avoidance. We may be able to control our actions and bite our tongue, but it’s hard to let go of the anger and hurt we feel in order to move on. The pain is still very raw as if it happened only yesterday.

Jesus didn’t wait for an apology from his conspirators and perpetrators. Forgiveness has nothing to do with being owed an apology. It has nothing to do with forgetting. It has nothing to do with condoning another’s behavior. It even has nothing to do with reconciling, if the two parties can't agree to. BUT it has everything to do with changing our heart and choosing to release those feelings festering in the depths of our soul.

Jesus also said to love and pray for our enemies (Matt. 5:44). Personally that has been a struggle for me to move from theory into practice. To pray, “Lord, bless my enemies and prosper them” makes me feel like a raging hypocrite. My words sound so empty, I actually fear being struck down by the Lord. In fact, as I wrote this devotion, I had to stop. I shouted out loud to God, “Why do you want me to pray for a bad person in order that they may prosper?” I meant every word of what I said, but I honestly didn’t expect the Lord to answer. A moment later, the voice in my mind said, “Who says that they are bad? Who says that you are good?”

Suddenly several scriptures ran through my mind, reminding me of my sinful nature and who I am without God’s grace. We are all a mixed breed. We have both good and evil inside our souls – no exceptions, and they are never far apart. I’m no better than the person I’m struggling to pray for, so who am I to think I’m so innocent not forgive the person who is guilty of wronging me?

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn in pondering the meaning of his imprisonment in the Soviet gulag, wrote: "And it was only when I lay there on the rotting prison straw that... it was disclosed to me that the line separating good from evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between parties either - but right through every human heart, through all human hearts."

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God – truly righteous and holy. Eph. 4:21-24

Jesus spoke often about forgiveness. It is the essence of the Cross. In the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant from Matthew 18, Jesus has very strong words for those who won’t forgive others.

Conversely, when it comes to loving our enemies, sometimes the greatest enemy we have is ourselves. We have difficulty forgiving ourselves for our past mistakes and are traumatized by our own shame.

One of my favorite movie scenes is from The Lion King. The main protagonist, Simba, is living in exile and shame because he falsely believes he is responsible for his father’s death. Rafiki, the wise sage confronts Simba and reminds him of his destiny as the rightful king of the Pridelands. Simba says he can't go back because he can't change the past. Rafiki whacks him over the head with a stick, causing Simba obvious pain.

"Ow! Jeez, what was that for?" says Simba.

"It doesn't matter. It's in the past!" replies Rafiki.

"Yeah, but it still hurts."

"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it."

Rakiki swings his stick again, but this time Simba ducks out of the way.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Heb 12:1-3

Jesus never said forgiveness would be easy. Even when we are trying to forgive, we will stumble. We can forgive today and hate again tomorrow, only to forgive again the next day. We are bungling amateurs of righteousness in a world of professional sinners. But he has given us the resources through his Holy Spirit and the Gospel message to pursue holiness with confidence. Despite our brokenness and shame, God’s love is even greater and He continually invites us in to participate in His redemptive Story.

Prayer: Lord God, our words cannot convey our thanks for the price that was paid on our behalf – the life of your only Son. Jesus, you suffered the judgment of death on the cross so that we might live free of the penalty for our own sins. Please give us the grace and strength to live a life worthy of Your great sacrifice. Holy Spirit, allow us to stand before Your cross every day, to continually experience anew the wonder of Your forgiveness and the depth of your love, so that we may forgive others as well – and truly mean it. Lord, at this moment we think of someone who has wronged us, or caused us pain, who even delights in our hardships. I pray that you will forgive them just as you forgave me. I ask that you will love, prosper, and protect them abundantly. Bless them with every good and perfect gift from above. Grant them peace that passes understanding and joy beyond measure. Above all, demonstrate Your love and reveal Your face, drawing them near so that they may know You as the Hope and Savior of this world.

In the name of the One who truly loved his enemies, Jesus our Lord.  Amen.

(The books God Heard That! by Dr. Thomas E. Phillips, Forgive and Forget by Lewis Smedes, and A Violent Grace by Michael Card where inspirational to me in writing this post. Plus a special thank you to Pastors Clint and Mike for your recent sermons on forgiveness.)